Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Things you should never write in your blog..

Things you should never write in your blog:
  1. Sorry I haven’t blogged for a few days I had to hide the murder weapon and body down at the old cabin by the lake.
  2. I just posted some pictures of when my wife got drunk last week, look for them in the ‘hot babes’ and ‘thong’ part of flickr
  3. I made the access code for my house alarm my birthday so it’s easy to remember
  4. Does anyone know how to configure emails for future delivery, I’ll be ducking out of work early but want to send a few emails to make it look like I’m still there
  5. I wish I knew why my daughter keeps borrowing the digital camera and I keep getting monthly charges from a website called
  6. My cousin was on Survivor and told me who makes it to the final two next season
  7. I got an email from my boss, he says someone from human resources wants to talk to me, I hope this isn’t about those racy pictures we took in his office while he was out of town last week
  8. I’m making nearly a million dollars a year from my blogs, heres a complete list of the URL’s
  9. I’ve got a full set of specs and pictures for the latest IPod that comes out next year, I’ll be posting them on my blog tommorow
  10. I swapped my wife’s engagement ring for a cubic zirconia, and I’m selling the real one on EBay to pay off my bookie
  11. My credit card number is 387935873017323
  12. The car alarm is broken on my brand new Ferrari, I’m just going to leave it unlocked in my driveway until I can bring it to the shop next week
  13. I met this cute girl last night at a club but she had a really large Adam’s apple
  14. My broker just called me with a great insider tip to buy some stock in …
  15. I think the marijuana should be out of my blood system by next tuesday for my drug test
  16. My voice instructor William Hung says I’m a shoe in for the next season of American Idol
  17. I love reading spam comments in my blog they are fascinating
  18. Here’s a great new way to exploit the AIM/Y!/MSN chat program
  19. I never get locked out my house, I keep a spare in the garden under the turtle statue
  20. My companies year end financial statments will be out next week, I’ll post them on my blog tommorow
  21. Here’s how to get a fake social security nmber for your dog so you can claim it as a dependent on your taxes
  22. I downloaded all this great new music for free on the internet I hope the RIAA doesn’t come after me
  23. I wrote the ‘I Love You’ email virus
  24. I discovered this great new way to click on your own adsense ads and not get caught
  25. The user name and password to my blog are …

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